It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didnt deserve. When it will serve any good purpose, we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. . He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. Many of our husbands were just as far gone. He might have a chance. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. Here is a modern version of the fourth chapter, originally called We Agnostics. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. The 164 and More web site. On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. No more cluttering up your pages or looking for space to write your notes. So, for one reason or another, they cover these men, hoping matters will take a turn for the better. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesnt deserve it. We avoid retaliation or argument. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially which, at the time, seemed vitally important. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. It was the usual situation: home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears and standing damaged. My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone: BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 I've been to many meetings where it is said that we only read the 1st 164 pages. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? The Big Book God References: This exercise is meant to be an individual study aid of the Big Book in which the author identifies the references to God. My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. You can help when no one else can. Then that terrible tension which grips the home of every problem drinker will be lessened. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. Paul Yaffe True 1 1/4 inch OEM Monkey Bars 12 inch Chrome for 2015-Present Road Glide Be the first to review this product $358. MOST OF us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? How many copies of the Second Edition were sold or distributed? The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way. It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. He decides to exert himself more. These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcoholics throughout history. Available spacing options: single spaced, 1.5, double spaced. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect. Normal drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Perhaps you both like parties which would be dull without liquor. They run to extremes. Self-seeking will slip away. Because of resentment and drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife. His physical and mental condition were unusually good. Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, This is getting serious. He wants to make good. How heartbreaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they understood our men as we did not! The 12 traditions are as follows: 3 Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Come, whats this all about? I queried. I dare to disagree with the words of Bill Wilson. Will he take every necessary step, submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking forever? And now you know that he can stop if he will! Should I kill myself? Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God. Alcoholism may be causing your organization considerable damage in its waste of time, men and reputation. Oddly enough, he is often difficult to deal with. My judgment and ideas were followed by many to the tune of paper millions. Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place. Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated. To his wife, he remarked, Dont see anything the matter here, Ma. Far from it. Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. To the outer world he presents his stage character. You put me on the spot every time you get drunk. For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. I would not jump. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens. Maybe youre right, he said. But is it? We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. On your employees return, talk with him. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. It will take time to clear away the wreck. In the midst of such pandemonium they may have rushed out threatening to live with the other woman forever. I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. He may take small interest in the children and may show irritation when reproved for his delinquencies. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. If he is conscientiously following the program of recovery he can go anywhere your business may call him. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. We have tried to hold the love of our children for their father. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. Because it helped so many people recover, the Alcoholics Anonymous organization did not change it. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. They will be only too glad to assist you. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, We dont know.. Just go to the bottom of this paragraph and you will find a link, just click on it to go to one search box on a different page. Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can do without spiritual help. FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. What had happened? Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. If you concede that your employee is ill, can he be forgiven for what he has done in the past? By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject, but so far as we are concerned, it has worked with us. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. The emphasis is on the first 89 pages of the Book, which have not been altered since originally published in 1939. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track. Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. I vaguely sensed I was not being any too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach. If you desire to help it might be well to disregard your own drinking, or lack of it. She was furious. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his in-laws, each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the familys attitude towards himself or herself. When drinking, they were strangers. A blog dedicated to the discussion of the anonymous alcoholics program, as found in the twelve and twelve and first 164 pages of the great anonymous alcoholic book. Being a large place, we think that some day its Fellowship will number many hundreds. Nazar Paulista, Pedra Bela, Pedreira, Pinhalzinho, Piracaia, Serra Negra, Valinhos, Vrzea Paulista e If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Is he worth salvaging? At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. The free version features the full text of the Big Book, prayers, personal stories, podcasts, meeting finder, and more! Roberta Mccain Net Worth Forbes, To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. Just 4 easy steps and you're done! Was I crazy? To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. There are two alcoholic employees, who produce as much as five normal salesmen. It works when other activities fail. Search out another alcoholic and try again. I would need it before daylight. There are the same fast friendships, there is the same helpfulness to one another as you find among our western friends. Id prove to the world I was important. Especially when he has before him a way to stop his drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price. On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. This picture may not be as dark as it looks. Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. Again, you should not crowd him. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. See your man alone, if possible. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has-that his long period of sobriety and self- discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. We have already admitted this in confidence to another person, but we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known. We have been terror stricken. There are exceptions. And you may be tempted to let him do so. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified-these are everyday occurrences. You are not doing him a favor by keeping him on. So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic. He was inexplicably different. I just thought I would get a sandwich. But why not? We want to analyze mistakes we have made. As animals on a treadmill, we have patiently and wearily climbed, falling back in exhaustion after each futile effort to reach solid ground. (Bill wrote on the very last page of the first 164 pages: "We realize we know only a little"). You now know more about alcoholism. 11 pt type - divide your word count by 425. But one of the friends said, Put him in a private room. All men of faith have courage. Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. Some people cannot be seen-we send them an honest letter. I love the book! They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers who should have been fired long ago, or else given an opportunity to get well. Select your word print size. The good old days will soon be back, they think. Some people tell us so. At this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, the illness. How many copies went were put into circulation? But for every man who drinks others are involved-the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away. Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. Father knows he is to blame; it may take him many seasons of hard work to be restored financially, but he shouldnt be reproached. If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. Life would be wonderful. Leon Wilkeson Wife, Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other peoples shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. To me these occurrences are phenomena. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. The big book, Alcoholics Anonymous, sometimes described as the A.A. bible, has three hundred references to the . Business and financial leaders were my heroes. Let him ask you that question, if he will. For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all. Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. I could laugh at the gin mills. But it was never meant to be inerrant. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. How to Use Our Book Page Count Calculator. He felt that he had done a wrong he could not possibly make right. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends- this is an experience you must not miss. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion. Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. That was two months ago and the result was self-evident. You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book | May 25 / 2022 | . For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. When father takes this tack, the family may react unfavorably. They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. He may be broke and homeless. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery. Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings. Entire Original Manuscript (about) including the stories. If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him-usually his wife. Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. The 164 and More web site. The author is a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Bill W. & Dr. Bob. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling. Avoid urging him to follow our program. How could they? The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. Thy will be done.. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. Had this power originated in him? You can use any of our indexes with either edition. We become much more efficient. The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results. Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. They expect him to give them the nice times they used to have before he drank so much, and to show his contrition for what they suffered. Almost everyone knows the reason. A doctor came with a heavy sedative. WAR FEVER ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly reorganized. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism (also known as the BIG BOOK) describes how to recover from alcoholism. Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God. He told how he lived in constant worry about those who might find out about his alcoholism. What was our choice to be? After reading this book, a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, Look here, Ed. Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. These juniors are often in a difficult position. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. I rightly imagined that they would some day have a great rise. Do we owe an apology? Six years ago one of our number was a patient there. For example, the passage about "King Alcohol" is not shown in the A's since there are no listings for the common word Common words cannot be used when searching for a particular passage. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. This time we stayed broke. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. He had stepped from bridge to shore. The official Big Book from Alcoholic Anonymous. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider anothers conception of God. In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. He may not share your enthusiasm, but he is practically sure to read the book and he may go for the program at once. The seed has been planted in his mind. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand! Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. Tell him you have been worried, though perhaps needlessly. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. There are 5 basic types of picture books. Memorial Day Parade Near Me. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing. Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times. I had arrived. Printed in 2 BIG volumes, the 1987 Buick Chassis Service Manuals contained all of the . The Big Book App contains the first 164 pages and Doctor Bobs story. He is the Father, and we are His children. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. In the first flush of spiritual experience they forgave each other and drew closer together. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me. To some extent we have become God-conscious. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. Thus, highlighting will ultimately not work at all.Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. The husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for himself. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Following his discharge, we contacted him. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence. What can we do about them? He has by no means ruined everything. The same principle applies in dealing with the children. Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum. We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore. He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking. To illustrate: The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed. The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. 8-b. The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Malo We believe that is useful to remind ourselves of this fact. This man has a charming wife and family.
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